


I'll Go to Bat For You

by samcedeswannabe



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Banter, Dirty Talk, Fluff, Get it?, I was given a wonderful prompt and I kind of went crazy with it, I'll go to bat for you, I'm here all night folks, M/M, Raphael got some jokes, Some Swearing, tagged mature for sexual undertones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:16:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6548437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samcedeswannabe/pseuds/samcedeswannabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon and Raphael want to have some fun, but there's something standing in their way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Go to Bat For You

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to Java1 for the prompt: Simon turning into a cute tiny bat and getting into all kinds of trouble.  
> I went a bit crazy with it, which I hope is okay and I hope you like it! Please leave any comments or thoughts if you have the time, or if you just want to say hello! Please excuse any errors if you catch them. Thank you for reading.

Raphael straddled Simon’s hips and firmly held the younger man’s arms over his head against the bed. Being only a few inches above Simon’s face made it very difficult for the older vampire not to kiss the man who was giggling beneath him. He was determined to fix this little problem that they were having, no matter how long it took. “Simon, stop giggling.” Raphael rolled his eyes as he did his best not to fall on the man beneath him.

Simon continued to laugh, causing his body to shake. “I’m sorry, but you just look so serious and this has been like your tenth attempt to fix me and nothing has worked.” He lifted his head as best he could in the odd position and pecked Raphael on the lips. “It’s really sweet, but I’m obviously broken.”

“Not broken, just slightly out of order.” Raphael offered.

Simon laughed even harder, “Oh god, now I’m picturing an out of order sign tattooed to my face.” He turned his face and laughed into his shoulder, “I sound like an elevator under maintenance!” Raphael smirked and then shook his head.

He tightened his grip on Simon’s wrists, “You’re perfectly fine. I mean, I have never seen this kind of thing before, or heard of it, but I am sure that this is normal.”

Simon stopped laughing and rolled his eyes, “Ah yes, you’re right. I’m sure turning into a bat whenever I’m aroused is definitely a thing that has happened to many vampires.” He groaned, “I thought the worst thing about this whole vampire deal, was that I was dead....” Simon gave a dry laugh, “I guess I stand corrected.”

“You could turn into a rat or even dust. So a bat isn’t too bad.” Raphael shrugged, “At least you’re still cute. And you can’t talk, which is a definite bonus for me.” Simon scowled and jerked his hips up so that Raphael would lose his balance. Raphael slightly slid to the side but quickly righted himself. He leaned in and bit Simon hard on his lip. Simon yelped and then stuck his tongue out at the older male. “Behave yourself.”

“Make me.” Simon retorted.

Raphael closed his eyes in frustration, “You are such a child.”

“Correction I’m a bat.”

The older man groaned, “More like brat.”

 “I know you are, but what am I?” Simon smirked as Raphael slowly opened his eyes to look at him. “Raph, we’ve tried everything from bondage, to light petting, to massages...but I still turn. Every. Single. time. Nothing’s going to change.” He looked to the side. “Maybe you should just....see other people.”

Raphael let go of Simon’s wrists and sat up so that he was sitting in Simon’s lap. “I’m not giving up on you. Or this. Or us. So deal with it Lewis.” He smirked, “I’ll find a way to make you hot and bothered without turning you into a little bug eater.” Simon closed his eyes and then grinned.

“Alright you old vampire. Turn me on. Do your worst I say.” Simon laughed and Raphael raised a brow. “Okay, not your worst. I’m scared about what that might mean. Knowing you that could mean dangling me out of a window or something.”

“How dare you?!”Raphael feigned shock, “I would never do such a thing.”

Simon guffawed, “Oh really? That’s rich coming from the guy who held a huge sword to my neck not so long ago!”

“It was hardly a sword. I would say it was more like a letter opener of sorts.” The older vampire shrugged at the memory.

“You have some huge ass letters coming to the hotel then. What’s inside them? Those large cardboard cheques that they give to you when you win the lottery?” Simon rubbed his hands down Raphael’s sides. It was definitely a good view for him since the other vampire was shirtless.

“Stop that. I’m supposed to be making you aroused, not the other way around.”

Simon smiled, “Well, you’re doing a horrible job.” He laughed, “I’m as limp as a ramen noodle.”

Raphael sighed, “Give yourself some credit. You’re at least the size of a spaghetti noodle.”

“Oh babe, that’s the nicest thing you have ever said....and that’s saying something.” Simon licked his lips, “I love your dirty talk.”

Raphael smiled, “Oh? Do you? Well let me tell you some more than shall I?” He leaned in and kissed down Simon’s neck. “Oh I can’t wait to take your soft noodle and make it hard again, so hard that you know it’s undercooked.”

Simon tried to contain his laughter, but ended up laughing right into Raphael’s ear. The older vampire clutched it with his hand. “Oh god, I am so sorry. But wow! That was...so bad.”

Raphael looked offended, “Obviously I wasn’t being serious fledgling! If I wanted to turn you on I could.”

“Then do it already!” Simon wrapped his arms around Raphael’s neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. He stopped for a moment and brushed his lips against the other man’s. “Talk dirty to me.” Simon said in hushed tones. Raphael growled low in his chest for a moment as he processed the request.

“I can’t wait to lick and suck down your body...”He started quietly, “....and feel your cool skin against my lips as I map my way down. Memorising, savouring every single inch of you so that I can come back to the spots that make you moan low and scream....I want to watch as you shudder beneath me over and over again as you climax around my big, hard, dripping c---“ Raphael collapsed on to the bed mid-sentence. Stunned for a moment, he simply laid there before scrambling up to make sure he hadn’t crushed bat Simon under his weight. The slight squeak above his head made him groan. “Oh...Simon.” He shook his head as the bat above him weaved around the room.

Raphael put his hand out and the bat slowly descended into it. The older vampire carried it out of the room and to the kitchen. He gently put it down on to the counter and turned around to get a small saucer from the cupboard. “I assume you’re thirsty.” He grabbed a pitcher of a dark red liquid and poured it into the saucer before placing it in front of the bat. The little animal squeaked again before drinking its little treat. “You’re welcome.” Ten minutes went by before Simon had come back to his natural state. He crawled off of the table and sat down on one of the bar stools behind the counter. “Well that...didn’t work.” Raphael stated the obvious, “I wonder if shocking you with electricity during sex would keep you from changing.” He smirked to show that he was kidding.

Simon frowned, “Raphael, this isn’t working. I can’t....I can’t...” He shook his head, “This is shit. This is such a shit situation for you and it’s not fair. I wasn’t kidding before when I said you should see other vampires. At least they would know what the hell they were doing and where they were putting things, oh and the best part is that they wouldn’t become a damn bat every time you touched them.” Raphael stared at Simon for a long time. His face was tense. “You know I’m not wrong. You know you deserve someone who can really rock your universe. At least someone who’s experienced with other...”

“With other men? Is that what you were going to say?”Raphael interjected. Simon looked down and then nodded. “I’m an idiot for not realising what this was.”

Simon looked up and then away, “What do you mean?”

Raphael walked over to the other man and pulled him to stand up in front of him. He placed Simon’s hand against his chest and held it there. “Simon, you’re scared.”

Simon tried to pull his hand away, “I’m not...scared.”He barely choked out.

“Yes you are and that is completely understandable. It’s your first time as a vampire and with being with another man.” Raphael brought Simon’s fingers to his lips and kissed them gently. “Let’s go slower and talk about it. We can watch videos together. I know a guy who has a huge collection of dirty vampire videos that I am sure he would lend to me if I asked him for it. On second thought they’re kind of bloody....however I have recently stumbled on some stories involving vampires that you might like.” Simon sighed and stepped closer to Raphael. He gently pulled his hand away and slid his arms around the other man, leaning his head against Raphael’s firmer shoulder.

“This is embarrassing.” He bit his lip, “I was a real sex machine back when I was alive. I promise.”

Raphael hugged Simon more tightly against him, “Trust me I believe you.” He rubbed his hand down Simon’s back and felt the muscles relax there. “We’ll take it slow until you’re comfortable.”

Simon closed his eyes, “Well you’re doing a really good job right now by rubbing my back. I feel like I’m going to sleep.” He lifted his head and kissed Raphael. “Thank you....and just to clarify, we can still make out right?”

Raphael laughed, “Yes. Just promise you won’t go _batshit_ crazy on me.”

Simon’s eyes widened almost comically, “Woah....woah touché! Excuse me, who are you and what have you done with my humourless boyfriend?” He laughed, “I am impressed. You have been around me way too long.”

“Oh please, you’re not taking credit for that wonderful pun.” Raphael rolled his eyes and broke their embrace. He took Simon’s hand in his own and kissed the back of it. “Let’s go back to your room and get some sleep.” Simon sighed.

“I guess that’s what I get for dating an older man.” Raphael gave him a look which only resulted in Simon erupting into laughter, “Don’t worry Raph, you don’t look a day over sixty.”


End file.
